A couch is the landing-place of the home. Where we crash at the end of the day. Where we fellowship with guests. Where we do both our thinking and entertaining.
Yet when my parents helped me move from their home in rural Missouri to my new apartment in Cleveland, Ohio, finding an affordable couch was challenging. While my family and I took brisk walks through furniture stores, a new friend notified my new church family about my need via a Facebook group. One couple graciously sent a picture of their old love seat and offered it to me for free. What great kindness!
Yet my family had just found the clearance section of Value City Furniture, which was littered with furniture that had one defect or another. Broken frames. Missing sectional pieces. Torn cloths.
One couch stood out above the rest—a gray couch with large, comfortable cushions. Giant pillows rested against the back frame, making a cozy spot to decompress. It would be just as easy to stretch out and sleep on as it would be to sit and channel surf.
Since it was a detached part of a sectional with a broken back frame, the store marked the couch down considerably. When my mom expressed concern about the frame, I wryly acknowledged, “Well, I don’t have kids that will flip over the back of it!”
Should I get this couch I really liked? Or save myself four hundred dollars by taking the free couch? Saving money certainly appealed to me. Yet I wanted my home to be a place of refuge.
What Is a Refuge?
A refuge is a place of “protection or shelter, as from danger or hardship.”[i] Certainly, homes should protect us from dangerous weather or intruders. But a home can be a place of emotional and spiritual refuge as well. It can be a place where we walk in, let pretenses fall, and find rest from the pressures of the outside world.
In the beginning, God created the first home. When creating the Garden of Eden, God gave mankind all things beautiful and enjoyable. He looked over all His creation and described it as “very good.” Filling our homes with beautiful things reflects God’s heart and character.
If my home was to be a place of refuge, it needed to be a place of beauty and comfort. I bought the comfy couch.
Within a few months, that couch became a place of physical rest for me. Yet it also became a resting place for friends who came to visit and chat. Today, it is even a place of spiritual rest, for it has become my prayer bench—my altar. I have taken my needs, my longings, and my turbulent thoughts to the Lord in prayer while kneeling at my couch. There, I have wept before the Lord. And there, He has spoken to me and granted me peace. What a beautiful place to find spiritual refuge!
Tips for Creating a Refuge
Perhaps you are making your home in an apartment or house for yourself. Perhaps you only have one bedroom or a basement that is your personal space. Regardless of the shape, size, or type of space you have for your “home base,” you can transform that space to be a place of refuge for yourself and others. Here are some tips for making your home a refuge:
- Choose beautiful items to display and use. Beauty refreshes the soul. Choose wall decor with sayings that inspire you. Set out flower arrangements that make you smile. Display art that prompts reflection and joy.
- Choose furniture that is comfortable, useful, and attractive. Invest in furniture that puts you at ease. Pick furniture that is attractive—or make it attractive. When my dad renovated our basement to create a new space for my sister Sarah, she bought a love seat from family friends for twenty dollars. Since the red plaid design would not fit with her coastal theme, she bought a gray couch cover for thirty dollars. When our family friends came over, they did not recognize their own couch.
- De-clutter your space. Let’s face it—keeping our spaces clean and de-cluttered is a constant but important task. It is hard to relax when the counters are covered. Arrange to have sufficient storage spaces and keep items put away.
- Use candles or room fresheners with scents you enjoy. Find a way to unwind by using as many senses as possible, including the sense of smell. Perhaps you enjoy the scent of burning candles. Maybe diffusing essential oils relaxes you. Maybe, like me, you just open the lid off a candle to enjoy its scent. Whatever method you use, make your home smell like—home.
- Play edifying sounds in your home. Sometimes we need quietness in our homes. But at other times, we need sound. Edifying music can relax us. Godly music can encourage us. Natural sounds such as rain or ocean sounds can soothe us. Sometimes we need the voices of thought-provoking podcasters to speak into our homes. Find sounds that envelop your atmosphere in peace.
A Permanent Refuge
Although we can find temporary refuge and rest in our physical homes, we cannot truly experience rest unless we make the Lord our refuge. Moses, who led the children of Israel through their wanderings in the wilderness, acknowledged,
“LORD, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.” –Psalm 90:1–2 (KJV)
Our earthly homes are temporary. God alone is eternal. Wherever we are, wherever we live, we have a refuge and a home in Christ when we abide in Him.
Perhaps you feel powerless to change the environment of your home. Maybe you do not have the authority or the means to make all the changes in your living space you would like to make. Yet you can find refuge when you daily choose to trust the Lord and seek Him.
Home truly is wherever God is. If you have received the Holy Spirit by accepting Christ as your savior from sin, your refuge is in Him.
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.” –Psalm 91:1–2 {KJV}
[i]. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 5th ed. (2020), s.v. “Refuge,” https://ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=refuge.
For more biblical insights and practical tips about homemaking, check out my book Opening the Hope Chest: A Single Girl’s Guide to Homemaking.
Wonderful post with practical tips. Years ago, I found a plaque that said, “God is my Home.” It was one of those spiritual yet beautiful sentiments I loved having in my home.