I sat in the doctor’s office answering question after question.
As my new doctor asked a series of questions about vaccines with acronyms I vaguely recognized from television commercials, I softly answered no to each one.
“I just have to ask all these questions so they know that I did my job,” my doctor explained as she clicked through each pop-up.
I nodded. After living on my own in Cleveland for nearly two years, I was finally setting up with a primary doctor. This was a simple wellness check to ensure everything was normal for a thirty-two-year-old woman.
As she went through a checklist of health concerns, I hesitated to answer one question, then described something I was experiencing.
Her brow puckered for a moment. “Is this unusual? Or does it happen regularly?”
My eyes widened as I realized this issue was recurring—possibly in relation to my cycle. The doctor then explained that what I was experiencing was a normal phenomenon for women.
“Your body is designed to get you pregnant.” She held up a hand as if to stop any protests. “That’s just the way it is. And we have to listen to what our body is telling us about that process.”
The Haunting Question
I didn’t react outwardly—I simply absorbed her words. I knew that God had made me a woman. As such, I was uniquely designed to carry a baby. But the thought that my body was so bent and driven toward creating a life was a new thought.
Later, as I slid into my car, I gave myself a pep talk. “This is a good thing. It means that things are normal, and I can probably have children one day. My biological clock isn’t ticking—I’ve got plenty of time.”
Yet inside, fear screamed silently. It’s time to have children now. Your body is ready now. Your body was made for this. What if you never get married? What if your body doesn’t fulfill its purpose?
If I never marry and have children, why did God make me a woman?
These thoughts haunted me as I drove home, made supper, and prepared for a mid-week church service. A college choir had traveled from Tennessee to Cleveland, Ohio, to sing in a special service at my church. I didn’t feel like going, but it was the thing to do. So at seven o’clock, I slid into a pew on the second row with my roommate. About twenty minutes later, tears streamed down my face, and my shoulders shook as I tried to repress my sobs. Over a hundred voices sang about hope—and that hope being the cross of Christ.
Hope wasn’t about marriage.
Hope wasn’t about children.
My hope and purpose as a woman was found in the cross of Christ. Christ loved me, died for me, and set me free from sin to serve Him forever.
That night, I bowed before my Maker and yielded my body to Him. I give you my body, Lord. If I never have children, I will use my body in your service. I will teach and write and be faithful in the place You put me. Use me.
God’s Loving Answer
Later, in the quietness of my home, I wondered again, Why did God make me a woman? As a single woman with no prospects of a husband, I wondered what my life would amount to if I never had children. Did God still have a reason for making me a woman instead of a man?
Over a thousand years before, God had Jeremiah write His answer:
“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” –Jeremiah 1:5 (KJV)
God knew us before we were born. He created us on purpose for a purpose. And He intentionally made us either men or women. God gives each of us tasks to do, and He designed and equipped us for those tasks. I am a teacher. If I were a man, I would not teach the same way I do as a woman. I am not a better teacher because I am a woman—I am simply the teacher God intended me to be.
When I write, I write differently from a man because I think differently. My gender does not make me a better writer. But God has designed me as a woman to reach the people He wants me to reach. Whether I ever have children or not, God planned for me to be a woman and to fill a role in His kingdom.
As a single woman, I’ve learned that my femininity is not determined by my relationship status or by motherhood. It is determined by how God has uniquely designed me to accomplish His work in this world. The work God calls women to may include supporting a husband and raising children for His honor and glory. But that work may also include pursuing justice in a courtroom, managing a marketing team in a corporation, teaching children in a classroom, or creating unique and beautiful products as independent entrepreneurs.
“Our femininity is not determined by our relationship status or by motherhood.”
What has God called you to do today? No matter how small the task or role may seem, God lovingly and intentionally made you—you. He did not make a mistake. He created you to have a relationship with Him. He created you to encourage the people in your life. He created you to do good works. He created you to tell others about Himself.
So today, embrace who God has created you to be. Be confident in God’s loving design. Go out and proclaim hope to the world.
“Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.” –Titus 2:13–14 (KJV)
Beautifully said! Thanks for the encouragement!