Friendsgiving? Is that even a thing? Isn’t it some kind of sacrilege?
A 2023 study by Statistica Consumer Insights shows that 67% of Americans believe that spending time with family is central to the meaning of Thanksgiving.[1]
Images of Thanksgiving depict families gathered around a long table. Grandparents, parents, children, aunts, uncles, and cousins converge under one roof. They pray over the food. Eat together. Take turns saying something they are thankful for. Then they play games, watch football, or simply talk and catch up on life.
Yet a growing number of people—mostly in the 14 to 44-year-old demographic—are beginning to celebrate Friendsgiving. Statistica’s survey found that 20% of respondents were going to spend Thanksgiving with friends.[2] Such gatherings are typically called Friendsgiving. Since no one wants to undercut the value of spending time with family, it seems we must use a name other than Thanksgiving to ensure we do not infringe upon our traditional view of the holiday.
Yet perhaps the first Thanksgiving was not as traditional as we think. Perhaps Friendsgiving is what most accurately represents the first Thanksgiving.
The First Friendsgiving
Let’s think back to the first Thanksgiving. More than half of the Pilgrims had died the winter before. At that first Thanksgiving, how many were widowed? How many were orphaned? How many had lost at least one child? How many had left father and mother, aunts and uncles, siblings and cousins on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean?
Traditional family units did not gather in homes—the first Thanksgiving was a community celebration. Instead of each matriarch preparing a feast for her family, men and women worked together to hunt and prepare food. Even the Native Americans brought a side of deer.
No, the first Thanksgiving did not feature individual celebrations by traditional family units. It included people from all bloodlines and walks of life. People who had bonded through grief and necessity. Brothers and sisters in Christ who had gathered to celebrate and worship God. But the first Thanksgiving also involved a blending of cultures. After all, there were more Native American friends at the Thanksgiving feast than there were Pilgrims themselves.
To the Pilgrims, the first Thanksgiving was not about the traditional family unit. Thanksgiving was born from the Pilgrims’ desire to corporately express their thankfulness to God for His provision. A community came together to eat, fellowship, and worship—and they included every person from every background or culture who would come.
“It was about worshipping God in community.”
This Thanksgiving, perhaps something has shifted in the way you celebrate or whom you celebrate with. Perhaps you are missing a loved one. Perhaps you cannot be with family members for one reason or another. Perhaps you feel awkward about being single and not bringing your own traditional family unit to the table. Yet we can remember that the first Thanksgiving was never about having certain people gathered at a table. It was about worshipping God in community.
God’s Definition of Family
Although God created and values the traditional family unit, He also gave an extended definition of family in the New Testament.
Remember Jesus’s definition of family? He said, “Whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother” (Matthew 12:28, 50 {KJV}). Jesus invites all people into His family—His community. As we look forward to Thanksgiving, let’s embrace the opportunity to worship God for His goodness. And let’s do it with someone, somewhere—whether that is at a table with family, on the couch with a friend, or behind a counter at a soup kitchen.
Happy Thanksgiving, Friend.
[1]. Katharina Buchholz, “Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, or Home Alone,” Statistica, November 23, 2023, https://www.statista.com/chart/28817/thanksgiving-plans-gcs/.
[2]. Buchholz, “Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, or Home Alone.”
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The cast of ABC Good Morning America talked about ‘friendsgiving’ this week. Evidently, they celebrate together with the cast and crew. It’s definitely trending.