As I was growing up, my mom encouraged my sister and me to participate in many forms of competition. Piano Solo. Vocal Duet. Bible Teaching. Bible Testing. Debate. Apologetics. Volleyball. You name it, we probably competed in it. I always struggled with disappointment when I lost in any area. What did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I do better? Be better?
At such moments, my mom would often say, “Carmen, there will always be someone better than you.”
Eyeroll. Thanks, Mom.
But no, really, Thank you, Mom. Mom encouraged me to develop my talents. To her, competition was simply a motivation technique to reach her goal—to prepare her daughters for ministry. And yet, she also taught me how to keep my pride in check and emotionally handle losing. She taught me to do my best and pursue excellence. But if my goal was to “be the best” at everything, I would be defeated and disappointed.
This is what I have to remember as a teacher, writer, and single homemaker.
Our Own Worst Enemy
Many times, we are actually competing against our own expectations of ourselves. We have a picture of what success looks like. Maybe it looks like having a well-organized and beautifully decorated home. Maybe it looks like being a cheerful wife and mother with well-behaved, Christ-loving children. Maybe it looks like being the most beloved teacher or most efficient businesswoman. Maybe it looks like spending hours in Bible reading and prayer. Maybe it is an expectation that we do all the ministry things in our church—and volunteer at nonprofits on the side.
We envision ourselves as superwomen. And yet, we fall short. We have human limitations—like the need for sleep and adequate meals. We get sick and fall behind on projects. With children, we are sometimes the “bad guy” as we do the work of discipleship and disciplining. We get irritated with someone and snap. We fall asleep while trying to pray.
No, we are not superwomen.
But we look at another woman and think that God made an exception there. She certainly looks like Superwoman. How does she do it all perfectly?
The Wonder of Individuality
Actually, she probably does not “do it all”—and by no means perfectly. We only see a snippet of another person’s life. But even if someone else seems to do and be more, we must acknowledge that God designs each person differently. He creates each of us with specific gifts as well as limitations. We must position ourselves as humble recipients of both. Paul asks in Romans 9:20–21,
“Who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?”
God doesn’t make mistakes. He does all things well. When He created me as an introvert, He neurologically wired me to need higher levels of rest and solitude. I can choose to be upset about it. I can push myself to take on every ministry opportunity to the point of burnout. Or, I can take my Sunday afternoon nap and remind myself that God commands us to rest one day a week. On Saturday mornings, I can sit joyfully in solitude in a coffee shop while writing this message to you. And, as someone living in a sin-cursed world, I can give myself grace when sickness interferes with grading my students’ informative essays.
If we are to thrive in the lives we lead, we first must be secure in how God made us as individuals. We must say with David,
“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well” (Psalm 139:14).
Do you know that God has made you wonderfully? Do you know that God made something marvelous when He designed your personality, gifts, and limitations? Go to the Lord and praise Him for making you—you. When you are tempted to berate yourself for falling short, speak this verse of praise to the Lord. Ask the Lord for His strength to do the work before you, and remind your soul that your Creator did a wonderful thing when He made you.
For our supernatural God does all things well.
Copyright © 2024 by Carmen Dillon. All rights reserved.
Share:
Featured Resource: Holley Gerth’s The Powerful Purpose of Introverts was life-changing for me. You can check out Holley’s resources for introverts here: https://holleygerth.com/introverts/
This Christmas, give the gift of encouragement and biblical truth to a woman in your life.
Opening the Hope Chest speaks to many areas of life, including homemaking, managing finances, building community, and practicing unconventional hospitality.
Thank you for this article, Carmen! I am an introvert too, and I appreciate your insights about balancing ministry opportunities with adequate rest. 🙂
You’re welcome, Priscilla! It’s a hard balance to find, for sure! One of my friends sometimes reminds me, “Even Jesus took naps–during storms.” LOL.
Great post to give us permission to say ‘No.’
Thank you!