The Unexpected Path: Better? Or Just Bigger?

One Saturday afternoon, I roamed through the home goods section of Ross Dress for Less. At the back of the store, framed pictures and canvases were stacked six or seven frames deep. Yet at the front, a small Winnie the Pooh canvas caught my eye. Tigger, though mostly stuffed into a log, contentedly rested his chin on his paws while Pooh and Piglet contentedly propped themselves on the log’s top. Embroidered below these friends was the reminder, “Every day is an adventure.”

It was adorable. I picked it up, then put it back. As I wandered along the back of the store, I found another Winnie the Pooh canvas, this one featuring Pooh with the reminder, “Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”

As I handled the canvas, I thought, If I had children, this is what I would want in a nursery.

An inner debate ensued. Hope said, “You can buy this and save it for your future children.” Doubt retorted, “You are never going to have children. Don’t torture yourself.”

At thirty-three, the possibility of marriage and children felt like a futile dream I had held onto for far too long.

I brushed aside the pang in my heart. I liked these pictures. I could use them now. They would look good against the blue walls of my enclosed porch. My roommates would enjoy them. Or, I could put them up in my home office. With the coming of fall, it was time to redecorate and change things up. I bought the pair and hung them in the office that night.

That evening, I video called my mom to show her my new decorations. We then settled into a discussion of our day. My family had just arrived home from a trip to Silver Dollar City’s Southern Gospel Picnic. I had launched my author website and blog that morning.

“It was actually rather terrifying,” I told Mom. “The blog and the book suddenly became so real. And the responsibility of it was so big.”

Instead of responding directly to my statement, Mom began relating a story one of the Gospel musicians told at a concert that day. It was a tragedy about a baby that was born with a heart defect. Despite the prayers of many people over the course of several months, the baby died in heart surgery. At the funeral, over one thousand people attended. Eleven people accepted Christ as Savior at the funeral, and two weeks later, the baby’s grandma also accepted Christ. The Gospel musician said, “I cannot tell those parents or you that God’s plan was better—but it was bigger.”

Mom looked at me and said, “What you are doing right now—what God is having you write—it’s not better, but it’s bigger.”

She choked up, and tears filled both of our eyes. We both knew that we were talking about my singleness. Was God’s plan to keep me single this long better than being married and raising children? Perhaps not. But it was bigger. It was bigger than me. Bigger than my personal desires and dreams. Bigger than my pain.

God does want the best for His children. David says, “They that seek the LORD shall not want [lack] any good thing” (Psalm 34:10 {KJV}). Another psalm reassures us, “No good thing will he uphold from them that walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11 {KJV}). God’s thoughts toward us are good and loving. He delights in giving us good things and granting our heart’s deepest desires.

And yet, we live in a world cursed by sin, death, and disease. Life does not always go as planned. We experience both physical and emotional pain. And God allows it all. In our moments of deepest pain, we are often reminded of God’s promise in Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” We grasp for the purpose. We try to reason out a reason for our pain. And we often cannot see how this path is better than a path of ease and victory.

“When our hearts cannot comprehend the better, we can consider the bigger.”

Perhaps, in those moments when our hearts cannot comprehend the better, we can consider the bigger. What unexpected path are you on today? What burden weighs on your heart and threatens to suffocate your faith? Lift it to the Lord and ask Him to make of it something bigger. Something that He will use to draw people to Himself. Something that He will use to draw your heart closer to His own.

Because He is not only bigger, He is better.

Check out this song Courtney Collingsworth sings that has been a blessing to me while on unexpected paths: “Your Ways Are Higher Than Mine”

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