Friendsgiving is about more than food and casual fellowship. It is about praising the Lord with our community. In the process, we forge deeper relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
While in college, I could not spend Thanksgiving at home. But my college packed the day full with an extravagant breakfast, praise service, championship collegiate soccer game, Thanksgiving dinner, and a play. My college tried to give students the best time we could have while missing our family gatherings. But it was still hard.
One Thanksgiving breakfast stands out to me, though. My sister and I along with two friends went to our dining-hall breakfast together on Thanksgiving morning. We decorated our plates with hot-cross buns, fruit, and other dainties.
After we started eating, I pulled out an activity for us. Though skeptical, my sister and friends indulged me. We each picked a strip of paper that gave a brief reference to something the Pilgrims experienced. Then, it asked a question that prompted reflection. These questions went beyond “say something you are thankful for.” They asked us to share about unexpected friendships, God’s provision during difficult times, and people we never met yet were thankful for.
We all took the questions seriously and gave thoughtful responses that drew us closer to God and each other. As we left the dining hall, I felt that my friendships had shifted. There was something deeper between us now.
The Secret Ingredient
That Thanksgiving, I realized the power of sharing testimonies with friends. Nine years later, I was preparing to host the first Friendsgiving for my church’s singles’ group. Many different people were coming to the event. Although the food and casual fellowship would be important, I knew that we could connect on a deeper level if I pulled out those Thanksgiving reflection questions once again.
There was some skepticism, but the reflection time did go well. At the end, we had all learned a little more about each other—cancer battles, decisions to follow Christ despite lack of family support, and gratefulness for people who invested in us.
“We all learned a little more about each other.”
Tips for Reflection Times
A time for reflection is a powerful element to add to your Friendsgiving or Thanksgiving celebration. As you plan your reflection time, here are a few tips to make this testimony time meaningful.
1. Choose questions that require a little backstory or explanation. Often at our Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving meals, we ask a single question that allows us the briefest of responses. We can say that we are thankful for God’s love or for our family or for our food. A few people may give deeper explanations. But often it is not required. What made the questions different that my college friends and I answered all those years ago was this: they forced us to share some of our backstory. Consider reading some articles or books about Thanksgiving. Think about the struggles that the Pilgrims went through and how they compare to difficulties we face today. You can check out this download of questions I have written for this reflection time:
2. Give your guests time to think about their responses. I have found that it works well to have the reflection time after people have eaten and before the clean-up starts. When setting the table, set the reflection questions at each place setting. Before praying over the food, explain what these questions are for so that people can think about their responses during dinner.
3. Give your friends flexibility in their responses. Someone may get a question that he does not relate well to. But there might be a different question at the table that he immediately connects with. When explaining the activity, let your guests know that they can choose to respond to whatever question they like. It is fine if more than one person gives a response to the same question. Also, give your guests the opportunity to pass on giving a testimony. Some friends do not enjoy speaking publicly. Our goal is unity—not making people uncomfortable. Announce to your guests that if they do not want to participate, they can simply say “pass,” and there will be no judgment.
4. While moderating the reflection time, give a brief thank you or follow-up response to the testimony. It is important to acknowledge the people who have been brave enough to share their thoughts and experiences. As each person finishes a testimony, simply say, “Thank you for sharing that.” Sometimes, a brief response to what a guest has shared may be fitting, such as, “Yes, it is wonderful when God provides for us in special ways. Thank you.” This acknowledges the person and provides for a smooth transition to the next guest.
5. Pray that God would bless the reflection time and draw people closer together. Any spiritual work requires the work of the Spirit of God. He is the one who can soften hearts, prompt people to open up, and bring unity to our gatherings. Set aside time before your Friendsgiving to pray for God’s unifying work and blessing. Ask others to pray as well. We can do our part by planning and executing a reflection time well, but it is God who does the most important part of the work.
Forging Connections
Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” God desires that His people would experience unity and connectedness. As you seek to connect with God and others this Thanksgiving season, be ready and willing to share a little more of your heart with others. Allow God to do His unifying work. It is a Thanksgiving blessing you do not want to miss.
Do you have a favorite way to incorporate reflections of thankfulness into your Friendsgiving or Thanksgiving celebration? Share your ideas in the comments!
Know someone who is looking for ideas for a Friendsgiving or Thanksgiving celebration? Share these ideas with them.
Don’t forget to check out Opening the Hope Chest: A Single Girl’s Guide to Homemaking for more ideas on how to practice unconventional hospitality.
Love this idea of reflection questions, but also giving friends the grace to ‘pass.’
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