Each year, my Christian Womanhood class works on memorizing Colossians 3. Several weeks ago, we began learning Colossians 3:5, which says,
“Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (KJV).
Of course, there are many words in that verse that we do not use in our conversations today. As we discussed each word and the types of sin they described, I stopped at a word I was sure my girls were familiar with.
“What is coveting?” I asked.
One student replied, “Wanting something someone else has.”
I nodded. “Yes, but it is a little more than that.” I then gave the definition that I had been taught since childhood: “Coveting is wanting something so much that it disturbs your inner peace.”
God’s View of Our Desires
Wanting something—whether it is a nicer car, a good friend, a certain job, or marriage—is not inherently wrong. God knows that we have desires, and He does not reprimand us for them. In Psalm 37:4, David says,
“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” (KJV)
God knows our hearts’ desires, and He wants to give us good, beautiful things, relationships, and work. He promises,
“They that seek the LORD shall not want [lack] any good thing.” –Psalm 34:10 (KJV)
Evaluating Our Desires
Yet our hearts are deceitful and wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Sometimes we desire things that do not align with God’s values. Sometimes we desire things that are not truly good for us. Other times, we desire something good, but we become covetous as we wait because we feel we cannot have peace or joy unless that desire is granted. How do we recognize when our desires become unhealthy or idolatrous?
Here are some questions to ask ourselves when evaluating our desires:
- Is this desire interfering with my relationship with God? Wanting to have a healthy body is a good desire. But if we invest so much time and energy into working out and eating healthy that we neglect spending time in God’s Word, then that desire has become an idol. Desiring a husband and children is a good, God-given desire. But if we become resentful toward God because that desire has not been fulfilled, we have become covetous. Instead, desires should prompt us to turn toward God. One thing I have learned to pray is this: “Lord, I want this. But if You do not give it to me, I will trust You. May I desire You above all.”
- Is this desire driving a wedge between me and someone else? Desiring to travel and see more of God’s creation can be a good thing. But do we feel resentment when we see travel photos on a friend’s Instagram or Facebook feed? What about wedding photos or posts about children? Sometimes it is hard to celebrate our friends’ experiences and successes when we feel stuck. If we become resentful of our friends’ experiences, we easily cross a line into covetousness. Instead, let’s take that desire to the Lord and say, “Lord, I’m glad my friend can do/has that. I would like that someday. But help me to be content with what I have right now.” Then think of some current things in your life to thank God for.
- Is this desire motivating me to grow? The desire for travel can drive us to work harder to earn money for a vacation. The desire to have friends can motivate us to reach out to someone new. The desire to be healthy can lead us to make positive changes to our diet and routine. A desire that motivates us to grow is a healthy desire worth pursuing. If you have a desire that you can do something about, pray about what steps God would have you take toward fulfilling that desire or dream.
- Is this desire others-focused? Perhaps you have a desire to help at a crisis pregnancy center, become a foster parent, play an instrument for church services, or organize fundraisers for nonprofit ministries. It is a beautiful thing when our heart’s desire meets the needs of people around us. What steps can you take in pursuing those desires? Determine to talk to a friend or trusted counselor about how God might have you move forward in pursuing that desire. Also check out Holley Gerth’s You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream for ideas on how to pursue the dreams God places in your heart.
The Trust Factor
Desires are a necessary, healthy part of our lives. They motivate us to grow and move forward in our callings. But we must always take those desires to the Lord and surrender them to Him. Over the years, I have learned to pray, “Lord, please align my desires with Your desires.”
The difference between desire and covetousness is trust. Even when we have unfulfilled desires, we can have inner peace when we trust God to give us what we need and to withhold—in love—the things we do not need. May our testimony be that of the psalmist’s:
“O LORD of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.” –Psalm 84:12
Copyright © 2025 by Carmen Dillon. All rights reserved.
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For biblical insights and practical tips on homemaking, singleness, ministry, and more, check out my book Opening the Hope Chest: A Single Girl’s Guide to Homemaking.
Such a good word! I have always wondered what made Judas turn on Christ, and I think it was this very thing you wrote about—wanting something Jesus was not giving him at that moment. Thanks for sharing!
Good insight! It is a challenge to us to be patient and trust God. As Pastor said recently–God is never in a hurry.
Good explanation on the difference between desire and coveting. And yes – it always comes back to trust.
Thank you!