Loneliness can weigh heavily on us. Whether we are married, in a dating relationship, or single, no one is exempt from experiencing moments of loneliness. But what do we do when we begin experiencing a chronic case of loneliness? When it seems like a continual reality that we can never break free of?
The Prevalence of Loneliness
In Cigna’s 2020 U.S. report “Loneliness and the Workplace,” 47% of respondents expressed that their relationships with others were not meaningful while 52% sometimes or always felt alone.[1] This is concerning, in part because other studies have found that loneliness can affect our physical health. One such study found that loneliness causes a heightened mortality risk equal to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day and being alcoholic.[2]
There can be many factors that contribute to our loneliness. As a single woman, I can believe my loneliness results from the lack of a spouse and children. But the truth is that married people also experience loneliness. Regardless of our age, relationship status, or work status, all of us have the potential to struggle with loneliness.
So what is the answer? As I have dived into the research, I have found that there is not one “magic pill.” But there are many practical steps we can take to combat loneliness. Today, let’s talk about one step that God prescribes and the research that testifies of God’s wisdom and care.
The Blessing of Spiritual Family
Although the nuclear family unit—a husband, wife, and children—are central to community and God’s plan for mankind, we do not fully grasp God’s plan if we see the nuclear family as the only way to experience community and companionship. Indeed, God encourages us to pour into and embrace our spiritual family as well.
In Matthew 12, Jesus was teaching when his mother and brothers wanted to talk to Him. When someone in the crowd informed Jesus that His family was waiting to speak with Him, Jesus responded this way:
“Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.” –Matthew 12:48–50
Although Jesus loved and respected His earthly family, He took this opportunity to teach us that our community extends beyond physical ties. When we seek the Lord and follow Him, we are part of a spiritual family. We are made brothers and sisters in Christ, and we need that community connection. After all, in Heaven, the nuclear family will not exist as it does on earth because marriage in Heaven does not exist as it does on earth (Matthew 22:30). There, we are all the bride of Christ, and we experience community in a beautifully unified way.
The Power of Attending Church Services
Since the beginning of the New Testament church, believers have met regularly to pray, hear the preaching of God’s Word, fellowship, and give (Acts 2:41–47). Attending church services regularly is an important way to build community and combat loneliness. Hebrews 10:24–25 says,
“Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
Notice the reason God gives for assembling with the church body: to encourage each other to be loving and do good works. He encourages us to be a part of a community that practices love, speaks biblical truth, and holds us accountable.
Attending church services regularly gives us greater social support. Studies on loneliness in older adults show that people who attend religious services regularly are less likely to experience loneliness. The AARP 2018 national study of adults over 45 found that 39% of people who report not being religious or attending services are lonely. In comparison, 25% of those who claim to be religious acknowledge feeling lonely.[3]
The National Library of Medicine also published a study exploring the relationship between loneliness and religious service attendance. Researchers Rote, Hill, and Ellison explain that attending religious services has the potential to increase social integration (the number of social connections people have) and social support (the extent to which relationships help meet basic needs).[4] Rote, Hill, and Ellison report,
“Older adults who attend religious services more frequently also tend to report larger social networks and more contact with network members than older adults who attend religious services less frequently or not at all.”[5]
Those who attend religious services more frequently and have larger social networks also indicated that they could rely on friends more than those who did not attend services frequently. As a result, the study indicates that those who frequently attend religious services also tend to report lower levels of loneliness.[6]
God’s Loving Provision
I find this research fascinating because it tells me that there is hope for us in our struggle with loneliness. That God commands us to gather with other believers regularly because He loves us and knows what will strengthen and encourage us. That even as we age, we can have supportive relationships regardless of our relationship status.
So get involved in a good church that preaches and teaches biblical truth. Attend services regularly, and push yourself to talk to people before and after the services. Make connections with people of all ages and stages of life. Make church a priority—not only for your spiritual health, but for your mental and emotional health.
If you already regularly attend church, recognize that you do have access to a supportive community. Although I have attended church three times per week for my whole life, reading this research prompts me to recognize the gift that I already have. It challenges me to lean into my church community more. Instead of wallowing in self-pity about what I do not have, I have started looking for and embracing more of the opportunities I do have.
Attending church may not completely cure loneliness, but it is a God-ordained way to combat loneliness. This Sunday, take one step toward overcoming loneliness—simply by taking one step inside the church door.
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Copyright © 2025 by Carmen Dillon. All rights reserved.
[1]. Cigna, “Loneliness and the Workplace: 2020 U.S. Report,” 2020, https://legacy.cigna.com/static/www-cigna-com/docs/about-us/newsroom/studies-and-reports/combatting-loneliness/cigna-2020-loneliness-report.pdf.
[2]. Brigham Young University, “Loneliness and Social Isolation Are Just as Much a Threat to Longevity as Obesity,” 2015, Science Daily, https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/03/150311160521.htm.
[3]. AARP Foundation, “Loneliness and Social Connections: A National Survey of Adults 45 and Older,” 2018, https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/research/surveys_statistics/life-leisure/2018/loneliness-social-connections-2018.doi.10.26419-2Fres.00246.001.pdf.
[4]. Sunshine Rote, Terrence D. Hill, & Christopher G. Ellison, “Religious Attendance and Loneliness in Later Life,” The Generologist 53, no. 1 (2012): pp. 39–50, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/.
[5]. Rote, Hill, & Ellison, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/.
[6]. Rote, Hill, & Ellison, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/.
Good points about church attendance, although cliques also exist there and certain demographics of people may not fit. It’s important to find the right church where people are totally accepting and ready to include visitors or new members.
Yes, dealing with cliques can be challenging. Perhaps because we become comfortable with the people we have interacted with. At a recent multi-church event, a church worker asked a session speaker how to eliminate cliques in the youth group. The speaker said that you can’t eliminate the teen cliques until you can eliminate the parents’ cliques. I thought that was an interesting observation. We all have the responsibility to walk into the church building with the prayer, “Lord, help me to not come here just to be ministered to, but to minister.” Then, we need to look for people to minister to!