For three years, I have lived and worked in Cleveland, Ohio, which is a ten-hour drive from my family. In Cleveland, I have no relatives. No husband. No children. No parents. No siblings. No aunts, uncles, or cousins. Although I am thankful for technology that enables me to video call my family regularly, a video call is just not the same as being in their presence.
I do have a wonderful community in Cleveland. I love my church. I love my friends. I rely on my coworkers to keep me sane. I treasure the students who smile and wave when I pass them in the church foyer. I value my wonderful housemate who likes to go out for ice cream or walks.
Yet the loneliness persists, especially in the night when I am alone. This last year, loneliness has become an increasing burden on my heart. At times, dating and marriage appear to be the way to lift that burden. And so my heart cries out for it.
A Turning Point
This summer, I turned thirty-four, and I found myself at a crossroads. I was tired from a hectic year of work and ministry. I was tired of waiting for marriage and children. I was tired of encountering potential suitors only to learn they were not God’s will for me. I was tired of loneliness. I was having quite the pity party. And I felt very alone in my misery.
A Realization
At the end of July, I went to a youth conference (Youthcon) with my family and Missouri church. Youthcon is hosted on the Heartland Baptist Bible College campus. On the first night, I stood in the college’s chapel, which was packed with 1,430 teenagers, young adults, and youth workers. We stood for the singing, and I checked out a little as we sang the familiar hymn “O How I Love Jesus.”
Until we sang verse four about Jesus’s name:
It tells of One whose loving heart
Can feel my deepest woe,
Who in each sorrow bears a part
That none can bear below.1
I jerked to attention as my mind grabbed hold of the last part—that Jesus enters my sorrow with me as no one else can.
Jesus shares my sorrow? He feels the sadness and loneliness I have been feeling—with me?
Scripture came to my mind, confirming the truth:
For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. –Hebrews 5:15 (KJV)
Yes, Jesus knows what it is like to experience sorrow and loneliness. He experienced all those things in His earthly body. But that night, Jesus wanted me to know something else: He doesn’t just understand my pain—He chooses to experience it with me.
I had been trying to bear my pain and loneliness myself. And in my frustration, I felt that the battle was me against God. Yet all along, He wanted to be invited into my grief and loneliness. He wanted to sit with me. Cry with me. Be there for me. And I had not let Him. That realization broke through the wall that stood between me and God, and peace began to settle in my heart.
An Invitation
I do not know what grief you carry today. But God does, and He wants to bear that grief with you. He does not want you to be alone in it. He can be there for you in ways that no one else on earth can.
You may feel lonely, but you do not have to be alone. Take a moment to invite God into your grief, sorrow, and stress; and thank Him for faithfully being there for you. He promises,
Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. –Matthew 28:19 (KJV)
Copyright © 2025 by Carmen Dillon. All rights reserved.
- Frederick Whitfield, “O How I Love Jesus,” Public Domain. ↩︎
It’s so wonderful to know we are never truly alone. And that Jesus understands loneliness. Great post and a valuable topic!
Thank you!